I went to the store today
For the ever versatile
It upsets the vegans
But they have their own replacement
Sea foam butter
No bones no masters
Some crushed up stars
In short, not as tasty
But they make do
Anyway the damn thing was on sale
So I stocked up
Fearing the hurricane and recession
It took to make this
Are sure to run dry.
Scarcity is the mother of
Heads on walls
And gummy worms
Knowing full well the typhoon and novas it took
To bottle this delectable concoction
Unlike the thing itself
I researched how quickly
Child labor is going out of style
And if there’s a machine that can replicate the tiny brown hands that make this
Cus I’ll be damned if I never have another slice of toast
Spread with orbit butter.
I read the label
Running my fingers gingerly
Neath each word
“Made in Jupiter”
The anus of the Milky Way
I gotta consult the oracle later
To be sure
The real issue here is that the power is out
It’s been out for weeks
And there’s no way to do my make up in
I can wake up with the birds and catch that sunrise, but the stuff is deceiving
Makes me look like a glistening river of pink hues
But by high noon
The pond scum is evident
Craters open wide for pollution to sink in
They call this heroin chic on instaglam.
my holobasket is now overflowing with
The avatars that I’ll trade in for the real stuff when I walk up to the sex bots and give them 40 rupees.
I go up there
Winking my glitter lashbombs
At the men of steel
Good morning captain America
As you can see I’ve purchased all your orbit butter
Do click tone me when you’ve got more
Madam, these are the last of the orbit butter
The president has banned child labor
And we’ve run all out of stars.
I’ve been coming here
12 green earth years
And you’re telling me
The butter churners grew a conscience
Say it ain’t so.
Fraid it is darling Moonglitz
But bot, we still have caviar do we not?
We have not yet determined if fish have feelings
And the vegans don’t seem to mind.
I’ll make my own orbit butter
With the offspring coming in fall.
Good call! By George I’ll take you up on a batch.
I don’t consume anything but data
My clients, however, like a little treat
When I’m sucking their-
That’s enough Rogerglitz!
Don’t you have the good sense to keep your part time gig quiet?